some pictures from an extended absence with no written explanation

*sigh*

There will be no more posts until further notice.

How To Cheer Up

After being royally pissed off trolled pissed off by the incompetent Fermi Sandbox staff, I felt like I needed to do something to relax.

To make light of the situation, my friend Grau made a big-ass piece of wood with the word WEAPON on it, named DANGEROUS GRIEFER WEAPON.  I had to fight the urge to go back to Fermi on another account wearing the comical unscripted prim "weapon", but ultimately decided that was a bad idea.

I needed a sandbox with fun in it.  You wouldn't think so, but the ones maintained by Governor Linden are usually the kindest to me.  I don't want to grief, I want to relax and make a total ass out of myself!  So off to a Linden sandbox I went.

I feel it necessary to add that these sandboxes are also labeled no combat.  And I did not detach my unscripted prim gun for the following rave party.

Thank you, Governor Linden, for providing a safe and entertaining atmosphere for me to use silly dance animations while playing with large sculpted prims and listening to ABBA at 3am.  All without having to detach anything from my avatar.

Eventually we got tired of dancing and needed storytime.  Tuberman Resident first read aloud from Ulysses, then did a dramatic spoken word rendition of a song about chickens by Insane Clown Posse, and closed with several works of erotic fan-fiction involving Pokemon, 1990's cartoons, and Final Fantasy.

Our dj from earlier, Opeo, joined us, as well as many passer-by.  I guess people like sitting around listening to a giant potato read stories.  Who would have thought?

Let's be honest though, Ulysses was boring and some of the fan-fiction was a bit disgusting.  Here's a sample reaction from when Pikachu went down on Bulbasaur.  Or maybe this was from when Doug and Skeeter snuck in a quickie before school, I don't remember.

The corgi looks like it's enjoying it a little too much, now that I look again.  It must have been the Pokemon erotica. 


The giant potato takes requests.  If you can think of anything better for him to read, please, let him know.

Banned From Fermi for nofuckingreason

I didn't even have time to take any pictures of this because I had only just teleported in when I was accosted by (who turned out to be) "the managers that suck."

Really, I don't care if I'm banned while doing something wrong.  Shooting people, spamming particles, ban me, have at it.  These people, I think, they were just way too bored.

[21:05]  Aaack Straaf: Hi!
[21:05]  Gabi Kaiser: lmfao
[21:05]  Gabi Kaiser: hi
[21:05]  Anomie Calamity: did you literally just fall from the sky?
[21:05]  Gillian Carthage: I did
[21:05]  Graza McCallen: Hiya, thanks for dropping in
[21:05]  Gabi Kaiser: lol yeah
[21:05]  Sean Schmid: Hi Anomie, thought we'd drop in.
[21:06]  Gabi Kaiser: hahaaa
[21:06]  Gillian Carthage: Anomie, how's it going?
[21:06]  Anomie Calamity: I've been better, how about you?
[21:06]  Gillian Carthage: Oh no! What's wrong?
[21:06]  Grauegewehr Gausman: i wonder if i have a swimming pool
[21:06]  Anomie Calamity: I lost an eye.
[21:06]  Aaack Straaf: I know !!! it's the gun!
[21:06]  Gillian Carthage: I hate when that happens
[21:06]  Grauegewehr Gausman: other than the one i made for the cubehouses
[21:06]  Gillian Carthage: Did you shoot it out?
[21:06]  Anomie Calamity: and someone carved "CUNT" into my abdomen.
[21:06]  Aaack Straaf: You shouldn't play with that thing
[21:06]  Gillian Carthage: Wow. Bad day.
[21:07]  Anomie Calamity: I didn't do it to myself, believe me.
[21:07]  Gillian Carthage: Would you mind losing the gun?
[21:07]  Aaack Straaf: awww, may be move out from the hood?
[21:07]  Anomie Calamity: yes.
[21:07]  Gillian Carthage: Maybe just detach
[21:07]  Gillian Carthage: oh
[21:07]  Graza McCallen: lol
[21:07]  Gillian Carthage: pretty please?
[21:07]  Anomie Calamity: it doesn't shoot or anything.
[21:07]  Gillian Carthage: Still, there is this silly rule
[21:07]  Anomie Calamity: you can pretend it's a popsicle if you want
[21:07]  Gillian Carthage: and the managers here suck
[21:07]  Aaack Straaf: pretty pretty please with a cherry on top?
[21:07]  Anomie Calamity: they never yelled at me about my gun before.
[21:07]  Aaack Straaf: (and puppy eyes)
[21:07]  Grauegewehr Gausman: do they have a rule against fish?
[21:08]  Gillian Carthage: puppy dog eyes sorry?
[21:08]  Graza McCallen: Vodka?
[21:08]  Tetsuo Amaterasu: What about grenades and shotgun shells
[21:08]  Graza McCallen: I can drink Vodka?
[21:08]  Tetsuo Amaterasu: And knives
[21:08]  Grauegewehr Gausman: RPG launchers?
[21:08]  Aaack Straaf: ywes you can drink vodka Graza
[21:08]  Anomie Calamity: "no weapons" means nothing scripted that can push or drain health
[21:08]  Graza McCallen: Awesome
[21:08]  Graza McCallen: Thatll do me
[21:08]  Graza McCallen: a few bottles
[21:08]  Grauegewehr Gausman: i've gotten bitched at for modeling grenades in a "no weapons" sandbox before
[21:08]  Gillian Carthage: There is a clause in the rules about brandishing weapons
[21:09]  Anomie Calamity: I'm not brandishing any weapons though.
[21:09]  Gillian Carthage: so I guess you should take it off
[21:09]  Anomie Calamity: I think prim boobs should be considered weapons then, in that case.
[21:09]  Gillian Carthage: Well one last sweet request. Please put the gun away.
[21:09]  Aaack Straaf: yes please ◕‿◕
[21:09]  Grauegewehr Gausman: did you guys notice that i'm wearing a weapon?
[21:09]  Anomie Calamity: Are you concerned for my welfare? Or scared of an unscripted prim gun?
[21:10]  You have been teleported home by the object 'SimNet Land: Fermi Sandbox' on the parcel 'Fermi Sandbox'.
[21:10]  You have been banned by the object 'SimNet Land: Fermi Sandbox' on the parcel 'Fermi Sandbox'.

After all that, Aaack gave me an invite to a griefer group and a free "I Hate Fermi" t-shirt.  Not even kidding.  All the sweet requests and vodka in the world can't make up for that level of stupidity.  I do hate Fermi now, thanks to you two.

◕‿◕

Happy Easter I Guess

 

PoopJesus died for your sins and loves you eternally DRINK PEPSI!

Rolling Restart Tuesdays

Jumping from sim to sim is the average Tuesday experience in Second Life.  The regions restart on a rolling schedule, so when you get the 30 second warning of a restart, you teleport or get logged off.  Being used to using my main account, I abandoned my build in a sandbox at the 30 second warning and clicked "teleport home"...only to realize my home was still set at the Violet Infohub.  Unless I'm up for some Earth-shattering lag, I tend to avoid infohubs.  But, oh well, I was already there.  I sat down on a bench in the corner and waited for enough time to elapse before teleporting back to my build.  Normally I'm up for a debate, but I hadn't had my coffee yet.  Initially I was less than thrilled when Mr. Know-It-All, "EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance" (say that three times fast) came up to me:

[06:17]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: Anomie is a shitty looking zombie
[06:17]  Anomie Calamity: Oh yeah, EqualRightsIsABadJoke, you totally know your zombies.
[06:17]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: I THINK I DO!
[06:18]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: Look at yourself
[06:18]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: Theres like a picture of a heart on you
[06:18]  Anomie Calamity: It's a tattoo, obviously.
[06:19]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: Zombies dont tattoo themselves. They eat brains.
[06:19]  Anomie Calamity: You know zombies come from people, right?
[06:19]  Anomie Calamity: And that some people have tattoos.
[06:19]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: If you had a tattoo like that BEFORE you died, then no loss becoming a zombie.

By then, after just the beginning of what became a very long disjointed conversation, I was already laughing.  Long Name Guy, just like everyone I've met in SL (myself included) was guilty of judging someone based on appearance alone.  He just wanted me to get angry, and getting angry about something that trivial is a waste of valuable energy.  I had some questions though.  Once I changed the subject, he got even more animated, and even more people joined in the conversation.

[06:28]  Anomie Calamity: Why are equal rights a bad joke?
[06:28]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: Cause we're not all equal
[06:28]  Becky Lowtide: stop
[06:28]  Becky Lowtide: stop
[06:28]  Anomie Calamity: and why is that?
[06:28]  Becky Lowtide: no
[06:28]  Becky Lowtide: oh stop
[06:28]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: We'd like to think we are, but we're not.
[06:29]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: I'd be damned if a kid with downs syndrome would think he's the equal to say... the CEO of general motors.
[06:29]  Krista Canucci: my fav porn is called puddin fart
[06:29]  Anomie Calamity: Equal rights and equality in general are not the same thing.
[06:29]  Becky Lowtide: lol
[06:29]  Becky Lowtide: are there fat chicks in it?
[06:29]  Becky Lowtide: lol
[06:29]  Becky Lowtide: eek
[06:29]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: So by not being his equal, he cannot have equal rights.
[06:30]  Krista Canucci: all you see is her ass and it looks kinda meaty
[06:30]  Anomie Calamity: RIGHTS means you have the right to the same quality of life as everyone else regardless of who you are. Equality itself, that doesn't exist.
[06:30]  Becky Lowtide: this sounds like a stupid conversation
[06:30]  Becky Lowtide: i thought id contribute
[06:30]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: Also, I don't think people with lesser Intelligence quotient should have the ability to vote.
[06:30]  Anomie Calamity: Then ignore it, Becky.
[06:31]  Becky Lowtide: well ill try
[06:31]  Becky Lowtide: carry on
[06:31]  Anomie Calamity: Okay, that's assuming voting does anything. But what gets me here, no listen-
[06:31]  Anomie Calamity: this is fucking second life.
[06:31]  Anomie Calamity: and we are all avatars and all have the same "rights" under the TOS.
[06:32]  Anomie Calamity: so why make a statement like that here?
[06:32]  Becky Lowtide: what?
[06:32]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: Who says im refering to SL?
[06:32]  Anomie Calamity: I'm not saying you are.
[06:32]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: So we can only talk about second life on second life is that it?
[06:32]  Anomie Calamity: I'm saying you chose the wrong venue for this particular argument.
[06:32]  Anomie Calamity: It's your username, ffs.
[06:32]  Becky Lowtide: good point
[06:32]  EqualRightsIsABadJoke Lastchance: And we're not all equal under the TOS. Avatar age is all that matters on here.
[06:33]  Anomie Calamity: Not really. You're an obvious alt. And this is not my main. You never know someone's age on here.

You Sure Do Gots a Pretty....Cunt?

It's hard to even broach the subject of Second Life without bringing up sex.  The whole place has turned into a pixel-based meat market, or maybe it always was.  So let's get this out of the way- sex is the least interesting part of Second Life to me.  I'm not sure what I'm trying to gain by being there, or if there even is something to gain, but watching some animated 3D model of a person dry hump me (avatars don't get wet, do they?) does nothing but give me the heebie-jeebies.  Which is good news, very good news for those of us that want to just have a good laugh.  All you need to do is search for sex and you stumble upon a plethora of interesting places.  Vagina water slides, dungeons where hyper-sexualized cat women will pee on you, even barns with poseballs.  Just assume the position and Fido or Mr. Ed or Wilbur will run up and mount you.  If I land in a place like that, I might just sit on a nice (non-animated) bench and have a good giggle, fully clothed, wondering how many of these people are actually enjoying this nonsense.

But where I don't expect to find sex (just about everywhere given that I'm using an account left intentionally not age-verified) is a random sandbox.  Just moments after teleporting to Fermi to people-watch, I run into this poor soul, editing a box of 99 sex animations for the low, low price of 49 linden dollars (or so the box said).

BabyWet Cascarino is for all I know an intelligent businessman living in Manhattan with three children and a cat names Snuffles and was sipping an expensive well-aged single malt whisky (neat) while editing her box of 99 sex animations.  That's part of the beauty of Second Life.  You don't know who someone is, and culturally speaking, within the construct of the communication platform, you're not supposed to give a damn.

So I stood next to BabyWet for about four or five minutes before telling her bluntly in local chat that I could see her fuckhole on the outside of her jeans.  Pieces like these are not part of the avatar mesh and are not meant to be worn with clothes.  Wearing them with clothes...well, you can see what happens.  BabyWet responded gracefully with an "oh, thanks" and removed her prim pussy, so I spared her any continued criticism, even though I was in the mood to go on and on about slider abuse and the unrealistic proportions of her ass, which are not done justice in this picture.  Truth be told, I've seen much worse, so BabyWet deserved to be spared.  She was probably an alt anyway.  I don't know many people that work as SLescorts on their main account, though you never know.

As far as entitlement goes, Persephone Sorbet, pictured right, deserves to be spared as well.  But in the interest of this sociological experiment I'll touch on our brief conversation anyway.

Nothing confuses me more than this shape on a Second Life avatar.  It's completely unrealistic, and if you're using Second Life to fill your sexual void in reality, I cannot for the life of me figure out how something that looks like a severe genetic mutation is appealing.  For fuck's sake, it looks like the woman sat on a watermelon and decided to leave it in there. 

But I digress...Persephone Sorbet didn't even try to defend the realism of her avatar.  She stated that her boyfriend (in the realm of SL, that means her pixel fuckbuddy) liked to tap that big ass.  But she did have another very realistic (and still curvy) shape that she showed me in her own defense.  And she knew the myth of Persephone.  And she continued talking to me even after I said her ass must feel like Persephone, shifting between two places and stuck in Hell half the time.  So nothing against Persephone Sorbet personally, she seemed like a cool chick.  Or old man.  Whoever it is behind the keyboard.

After all this judgment it seems only fair to lambaste myself a bit, doesn't it?  You can see me on my main account above, name blurred out, woefully discussing the proportions of Persephone's ass.  My main account has many avatars for many purposes, mostly constructed out of boredom or curiousity, but the one I was using today while finding bad asses in the sandbox doesn't differ much from the one I'd like you to know me as.

Anomie Calamity has her share of style issues as well.  She's basically a rotting corpse, face sliding off, dangerously thin, a crazed expression, and holding a revolver.  Comforting, huh?  Here I am at left, decked out in the most atrocious freebie clothing I could find, using a skin made by a friend.  I'd like to think of myself as a zombie fashion-disaster bounty hunter on speed.  With an eating disorder.  And sepsis.  And possibly several highly communicable diseases.

The difference between me and these other avatars- I'm trying to look like shit.  I think I pull it off very well.  A concerned bear-human hybrid asked if I'd been beaten while trying to position his attache case on his right hand in the sandbox while I watched him.  I told him yes, but I was also dead, so he need not worry.

I'm giving this a shot as an observer.  Not a silent one, but someone without the attachment and the pride and the vanity I sense so much on Second Life, these characteristics I even recognize in myself on my main account.  Where I'm standing in the photo at left is outside the gazebo in the public sandbox on my home sim.  The lady the land is rented from has told me numerous times that you can "get to know" someone better in Second Life than in the real world.  That in SL someone isn't a physical entity, but a soul.  A soul that you can see.  Yeah, it sounds batshit crazy to me too, but if there's any truth in that, I want to find it.  If I can only wade through all the bullshit and hormones.

Though I might have to change my display name to Lauren Hynde:

"What does that mean know me, know me, nobody ever knows anybody else, ever! You will never know me!"